Conquering fear
"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,
but he who conquers that fear."
-Nelson Mandela
(I'm sure Nelson would have applied this to women too!)
Imagine standing at the edge of a platform 300ft above a rushing river with a bungee rope tied to your ankles. What’s your body doing in this moment? What thoughts are rushing through your mind? What factors help you to make that jump?
For many people, this scenario is an extreme example of what it feels like to feel afraid, to lack confidence. I wonder what your current confidence challenges are in your leadership at the moment? I (Ruth) have been involved in a challenge (outside of Moringa) that has required incredible resolve to overcome fears, push through anxious thoughts and disturbed sleep, acknowledge lack of experience and yet move forward because my responsibility as a leader has been to deal with the challenge – to jump off the bungee platform rather than turn around and head back down the ladder.
I wonder what helps you when you’re required to do something which makes your knees tremble and your heart pound?
Here are a few reflections on some things which have helped me:
Call to mind other occasions where I have lacked confidence but have taken action and survived(!) - and even grown in confidence.
Think about the strengths I bring to the particular situation and focus on using those
Take note of my self-talk and challenge any unhelpful statements or limiting beliefs. Replace these with positive beliefs and affirmations.
Identify the areas where I need more knowledge or competence and find ways of achieving those.
Find people to support me – for example people with knowledge or experience I lack or those who can provide emotional support and encouragement.
When I have stepped out and embraced the challenge, take some time to acknowledge the steps I have taken, as well as reflect on what went well and what I could have done differently.
The reality is that for most, if not all, of us, confidence will be an issue we need to address at different points in our leadership. Although we may look back with a smile at some of the areas where we used to lack confidence, as our leadership responsibilities increase so will the requirements to deal with new challenges with higher stakes.
Questions to ponder:
Where have I grown significantly in my confidence over the years?
What strengths can I identify in myself which contribute to me being able to deal with challenges?
Is there anything I am avoiding at the moment due to a lack of confidence?
If so, what steps can I take to deal with the situation?
"Whether you are an adult or child, your first attempts will often seem unimportant or foolish.
The open mic night at a nearly empty bar.
The early blog posts that get ignored.
The dance recital on a little stage.
Early attempts are easy to dismiss because they don't seem to amount to much. But you have to do the low stakes stuff to prepare for the high stakes stuff. They are the building blocks of confidence, and that's an enormous thing."
- James Clear